Note of the Mother: This book comprises extracts from a diary
written during years of intensive yogic discipline. It may serve as
a spiritual guide to three principal categories of seekers:
- those who have undertaken self-mastery
- those who want to find the road leading to the Divine
- those who aspire to consecrate themselves more and more to the Divine
Work.
February 5, 1913
(translation by Sri Aurobindo)
Thy voice is heard as a melodious chant in the stillness of my heart,
and is translated in my head by words which are inadequate and yet replete
with Thee. And these words are addressed to the Earth and say to her:
Poor sorrowful earth, remember that I am present in thee and lose not
hope; each effort, each grief, each joy, each pang, each call of thy
heart, each aspiration of thy soul, each renewal of thy seasons, all,
all without exception, what seems to thee sorrowful and what seems to
thee joyous, what seems to thee ugly and what seems to thee beautiful,
all infallibly lead thee towards me, who am endless Peace, shadowless
Light, perfect Harmony, Certitude, Rest and Supreme Blessedness.
Harken, O Earth, to the sublime voice that arises,
Harken and take new courage!
February 8, 1913
(translation by Sri Aurobindo)
O LORD, Thou art my refuge and my blessing, my strength, my health,
my hope, and my courage. Thou art supreme Peace, unalloyed Joy, perfect
Serenity. My whole being prostrates before Thee in a gratitude beyond
measure and a ceaseless worship; and that worship goes up from my heart
and my mind towards Thee like the pure smoke of incense of the perfumes
of India.
Let me be Thy herald among men, so that all who are ready may taste
the beatitude that Thou grantest me in Thy infinite Mercy, and let Thy
Peace reign upon earth.
February 10, 1913
(translation by Sri Aurobindo)
MY being goes up to Thee in thanksgiving, not because Thou usest this
weak and imperfect body to manifest Thyself, but because Thou dost manifest
thyself, and that is the Splendour of splendours, the Joy of joys, the
Marvel of marvels. All who seek Thee with ardour should understand that
Thou art there whenever there is need of Thee; and if they could have
the supreme faith to give up seeking Thee, but rather to await Thee,
at each moment putting themselves integrally at Thy service, Thou wouldst
be there whenever there was need of Thee; and is there not always need
of Thee with us, whatever, may be the different, and often unexpected,
forms of Thy manifestation?
Let Thy glory be proclaimed,
And sanctify life;
Let it transform men's hearts,
And Thy Peace reign on earth.
February 12, 1913
AS soon as all effort disappears from a manifestation, it becomes very
simple, with the simplicity of a flower opening, manifesting its beauty
and spreading its fragrance without clamour or vehement gesture. And
in this simplicity lies the greatest power, the power which is least
mixed and least gives rise to harmful reactions. The power of the vital
should be mistrusted, it is a tempter on the path of the work, and there
is always a risk of falling into its trap, for it gives you the taste
of immediate results; and in our first eagerness to do the work well,
we let ourselves be carried away to make use of this power. But very
soon it deflects all our action from the right course and introduces
a seed of illusion and death into what we do.
Simplicity, simplicity! How sweet is the purity of Thy Presence!...
March 13, 1913
(translation by Sri Aurobindo)
LET the pure perfume of sanctification burn always, rising higher and
higher, and straighter and straighter, like the ceaseless prayer of
the integral being, desiring to unite with Thee so as to manifest Thee.
May 11, 1913
(translation by Sri Aurobindo)
AS soon as I have no longer any material responsibilities, all thoughts
about these things flee far away from me, and I am solely and entirely
occupied with Thee and Thy service. Then, in that perfect peace and
serenity, I unite my will to Thine, and in that integral silence I listen
to Thy truth and hear its expression. It is by becoming conscious of
Thy Will and identifying ours with Thine that there is found the secret
of true liberty and all-puissance, the secret of the regeneration of
forces and the transfiguration of the being.
To be constantly and integrally at one with Thee is to have the assurance
that we shall overcome every obstacle and triumph over all difficulties,
both within and without.
O Lord, Lord, a boundless joy fills my heart, songs of gladness surge
through my head in marvellous waves, and in the full confidence of Thy
certain triumph I find a sovereign Peace and an invincible Power. Thou
fillest my being, Thou animatest it, Thou settest in motion its hidden
springs, Thou illuminest its understanding, Thou intensifiest its life,
Thou increasest tenfold its love; and I no longer know whether the universe
is I or I the universe, whether Thou art in me or I in Thee; Thou alone
art and all is Thou; and the streams of Thy infinite grace fill and
overflow the world.
Sing O lands, sing O peoples, sing O men
The Divine Harmony is there.
June 15, 1913
EVEN he who might have attained a perfect contemplation in silence and
solitude would have arrived at it only by withdrawing from his body,
by disregarding it; and so the substance of which the body is constituted
would remain as impure; as imperfect as before, since he would have
left it to itself; and by a misguided mysticism, through the lure of
supraphysical splendours, the egoistic desire to unite with Thee for
his own personal satisfaction, he would have turned his back upon the
very reason of his earthly existence, he would have refused like a coward
to accomplish his mission - the redemption and purification of Matter.
To know that part of our being is perfectly pure, to commune with this
purity, to be identified with it, can be useful only if this knowledge
is later used to hasten the transfiguration of the earth, to accomplish
Thy sublime work.
June 17, 1913
GRANT, O Lord, that I may be like a fire that illumines and gives warmth,
like a spring of water that quenches thirst, like a tree that shelters
and protects....Men are so unhappy and ignorant and have so great a
need of help.
My trust in Thee, the certitude within me grow deeper day by day; and
day by day too I feel Thy love more ardent within my heart, Thy light
more brilliant and yet also more sweet; and more and more am I unable
to distinguish Thy work from my life and my individual being from the
entire earth.
O Lord, Lord, Thy Splendour is infinite, marvellous is Thy Truth; and
Thy all-powerful Love shall save the world.
June 18, 1913
(translation by Sri Aurobindo)
TO turn towards Thee, unite with Thee, live in Thee and for Thee is
supreme happiness, unmixed joy, immutable peace; it is to breathe infinity,
to soar in eternity, no longer feel one's limits, escape from time and
space. Why do men flee from these boons as though they feared them?
What a strange thing is ignorance, that source of all suffering! How
miserable that obscurity which keeps men away from the very thing which
would bring them happiness and subjects them to this painful school
of ordinary existence fashioned entirely from struggle and suffering!
June 27, 1913
THY voice is so modest, so impartial, so sublime in its patience and
mercy that it does not make itself heard with any authority, any force
of will but comes like a cool breeze, sweet and pure, like a crystalline
murmur that brings a note of harmony to a discordant concert. Yet, for
him who knows how to listen to the note, to breathe that breeze, it
holds such treasures of beauty, such a fragrance of pure serenity and
noble grandeur, that all foolish illusions vanish or are transformed
into a joyful acceptance of the marvellous truth that has been glimpsed.
July 21, 1913
(translation by Sri Aurobindo)
YET what patience is needed! How imperceptible the stages of progress!...
Oh! how I call Thee from the very depths of my heart, True Light, Sublime
Love, Divine Master who art the source of our light and of our living,
our guide and our protector, the Soul of our soul and the Life of our
life, the Reason of our being, the supreme Knowledge, the immutable
Peace!
July 23, 1913
O LORD, inconceivable Splendour, may Thy Beauty spread through all the
earth, may Thy Love be kindled in every heart and Thy Peace reign over
all.
A deep and solemn chant, smiling and subtle, rises from my heart, and
I do not know whether this chant goes from me to Thee or comes from
Thee to me or whether Thou and I and the entire universe are this marvellous
chant of which I have just become conscious....Surely there is no longer
any Thou or I or any separate universe; only an immense harmony is there,
sublime and infinite, which is all things and of which all things will
one day grow aware. It is the harmony of boundless Love, Love victorious
over all suffering and all obscurity.
By this law of Love, Thy law, I want to live more and more integrally;
to it unreservedly I give myself.
And all my being exults in an inexpressible Peace.
August 2, 1913
THIS morning, as I was glancing over the month that is beginning and
wondering how I could serve Thee better, I heard the small voice within
like a murmur in the silence, and this is what it said to me: "See
how very little all outer circumstances matter. Why strive and strain
so to realise thy own conception of Truth? Be more supple, more trusting.
The only duty is not to let oneself be troubled by anything. To torment
oneself about doing the right thing causes as much harm as a bad will.
Only in a calm as of deep waters can be found the possibility of True
Service."
And this reply was so luminous and pure, it carried within itself such
a striking reality, that the state it described was communicated without
any difficulty. It seemed to me I was floating in the calm of deep waters;
I understood; I saw clearly what the best attitude would be; and now
I have only to ask Thee, O Sublime Master, my Supreme Teacher, to give
me the strength and clear-sightedness I need to remain constantly in
this state.
"Do not torment thyself, child. Silence, peace, peace."
August 8, 1913
O SWEET harmony that dwellest in all things, sweet harmony that fillest
my heart, manifest thyself in the most external forms of life, in every
feeling, every thought, every action.
All is to me beautiful, harmonious, silent, despite the outer turmoil.
And in this silence it is Thou, O Lord, whom I see; and I see Thee in
so unique a way that I can express this perception only as that of an
unvarying smile. In truth, the real nature of the feeling experienced
in the presence of the sweetest, most calm, most compassionate smile
has a poor resemblance to what I feel when I see Thee in this way.
May Thy Peace be with all.
August 15, 1913
IN this even-fall, Thy Peace deepens and grows more sweet and Thy Voice
more clear and distinct in the silence that fills my being.
O Divine Master, Thine is all our life, our thought, our love, all our
being. Take unto Thyself once more what is Thine; for Thou art ourselves
in our Reality.
August 16, 1913
O LOVE, Divine Love, Thou fillest my whole being and overflowest on
every side. I am Thyself even as Thou art I, and I see Thee in each
being, each thing, from the soft breath of the passing breeze to the
glorious sun which gives us light and is a symbol of Thee.
O Thou whom I cannot understand, in the silence of the purest devotion
I adore Thee.
August 17, 1913
O LORD, Master of our life, let us soar very high above all care for
our material preservation. Nothing is more humiliating and depressing
than these thoughts so constantly turned towards the preservation of
the body, these preoccupations with health, the means of subsistence,
the framework of life....How very insignificant is all this, a thin
smoke that a simple breath can disperse or a single thought turned towards
Thee dispel like a vain mirage!
Deliver those who are in this bondage, O Lord, even as those who are
the slaves of passion. On the path that leads to Thee these obstacles
are at once terrible and puerile - terrible for those who are yet under
their sway, puerile for one who has passed beyond.
How shall I describe that utter relief, that delightful lightness which
comes when one is free from all anxiety for oneself, for one's life
and health and satisfaction, and even one's progress?
This relief, this deliverance Thou hast granted to me, O Thou, Divine
Master, Life of my life and Light of my light, O Thou who unceasingly
teachest me love and makest me know the purpose of my existence.
It is Thou who livest in me, Thou alone; and why should I be preoccupied
with myself and what might happen to me? Without Thee the dust constituting
this body that strives to manifest Thee, would disperse amorphous and
inconscient; without Thee this sensibility which makes possible a relation
with all other centres of manifestation, would vanish into a dark inertia;
without Thee this thought that animates and illumines the whole being,
would be vague, vacant, unrealised; without Thee the sublime love which
vivifies, coordinates, animates and gives warmth to all things would
be a yet unawakened possibility. Without Thee all is inert, brute or
inconscient. Thou art all that illumines and enraptures us, the whole
reason of our existence and all our goal. Is this not enough to cure
us of every personal thought, to make us spread our wings and soar above
the contingencies of material life, so as to fly away into Thy divine
atmosphere and be able to return as Thy messengers to the earth to announce
the glorious tidings of Thy approaching Advent?
O Divine Master, sublime Friend, marvellous Teacher, in a fecund silence
I bow to Thee.
October 7, 1913
See a photo of the House in Rue du Val de Grace here
THIS return after an absence of three months to the house which I consecrated
to Thee, O Lord, has been the occasion of two experiences. The first
is that in my outer being, my surface consciousness, I no longer have
the least feeling of being in my own home and the owner of anything
there: I am a stranger in a strange land, much more of a stranger here
in the open countryside among the trees; and I smile, now that I have
learnt what I did not know, I smile at the idea of having felt myself
"mistress of the house", an idea I had before my departure;
it was necessary for all pride to be broken, crushed, trampled down
definitively so that I could at last understand, see and feel things
as they are. I used to offer to Thee this dwelling, O Lord, as though
it were possible that I should possess something and consequently be
able to make an offering of it to Thee. All is Thine, O Lord, it is
Thou who placest all things at our disposal; but how blind we are when
we imagine that we can be owners of any one of these! I am a visitor
here as elsewhere, as everywhere, Thy messenger and Thy servant upon
earth, a stranger among men, and yet the very soul of their life, the
love of their heart....
Secondly, the whole atmosphere of the house is charged with a religious
solemnity; one immediately goes down into the depths; the meditations
here are more in-gathered and serious; dispersion vanishes to give place
to concentration; and I feel this concentration literally descending
from my head and entering into my heart; and the heart seems to attain
a depth more profound than the head. It is as though for three months
I had been loving with my head and that now I were beginning to love
with my heart; and this brings me an incomparable solemnity and sweetness
of feeling.
A new door has opened in my being and an immensity has appeared before
me.
I cross the threshold with devotion, feeling hardly worthy yet of entering
upon this hidden path, veiled to the sight and as though invisibly luminous
within.
All is changed, all is new; the old wrappings have fallen off and the
new-born child half-opens its eyes to the shining dawn.
November 22, 1913
A FEW minutes passed in silence before Thee are worth centuries of felicity....
Grant, O Lord, that all shadows may be dispelled and that I may be more
and more Thy faithful servant in constancy and serenity. Before Thee
may my heart be pure as a pure crystal, so that wholly it may reflect
Thee.
Oh! the sweetness of abiding in silence before Thee....
November 25, 1913
THE greatest enemy of a silent contemplation turned towards Thee is
surely this constant subconscient registering of the multitude of phenomena
with which we come into contact. So long as we are mentally active,
our conscious thought veils for us this over activity of our subconscious
receptivity; an entire part of our sensibility, and perhaps not the
smallest, acts like a cine-camera without our knowledge and indeed to
our detriment. It is only when we silence our active thought, which
is relatively easy, that we see this multitude of little subconscious
notions surging up from every side and often drowning us under their
overwhelming flood. So it happens that, as soon as we attempt to enter
the silence of deep contemplation, we are assailed by countless thoughts
- if thoughts they could be called -which do not interest us in the
least, do not represent for us any active desire, any conscious attachment,
but only prove to us our inability to control what maybe described as
the mechanical receptivity of our subconscient. A considerable labour
is needed to silence all these useless noises, to stop this wearisome
train of images and to purify one's mind of these thousand little nothings,
so obstructing and worthless. And it is so much time uselessly lost;
it is a terrible wastage.
And the remedy? In an over-simple way, certain ascetic disciplines recommend
solitude and inaction: sheltering one's subconscient from all possible
registration; that seem to me a childish remedy, for it leaves the ascetic
at the mercy of the first surprise-attack; and if one day, confident
of being perfectly master of himself, he wants to come back among his
fellowmen in order to help them, his subconscient, so long deprived
of its activity of reception, will surely indulge it more intensely
than ever before, as soon as the least opportunity offers.
There is certainly another remedy. What is it? Undoubtedly, one must
learn to control one's conscious thought. There must be many ways of
achieving this. Regular introspection in the Buddhist manner and a methodical
analysis of one's dreams - formed almost always from this subconscious
registration - are part of the method to be found. But there is surely
something more rapidly effective....
O Lord, Eternal Master, Thou shalt be the Teacher, the Inspirer; Thou
wilt teach me what should be done, so that after an indispensable application
of it to myself, I may make others also benefit from what Thou hast
taught me.
With a loving and trustful devotion, I bow to Thee.
November 28, 1913
IN this calm concentration which comes before day-break, more than at
any other moment, my thought rises to Thee, O Lord of our being, in
an ardent prayer.
Grant that this day which is about to dawn may bring to the earth and
to men a little more of pure light and true peace; may Thy manifestation
be more complete and Thy sweet law more widely recognised; may something
higher, nobler, more true be revealed to mankind; may a vaster and deeper
love spread abroad so that all painful wounds may be healed; and may
this first sunbeam dawning upon the earth be the herald of joy and harmony,
a symbol of the glorious splendour hidden in the essence of life.
translation by Sri AurobindoO Divine Master, grant that today may bring
to us a completer consecration to Thy Will, a more integral gift of
ourselves to Thy work, a more total forgetfulness of self, a great illumination,
a purer love. Grant that in a communion growing ever deeper, more constant
and entire, we may be united always more and more closely to Thee and
become Thy servitors worthy of Thee. Remove from us all egoism, root
out all petty vanity, greed and obscurity. May we be all ablaze with
Thy divine Love; make us Thy torches in the world.translation by Sri
Aurobindo
A silent hymn of praise rises from my heart like the white smoke of
incense of the perfumes of the East.
And in the serenity of a perfect surrender, I bow to Thee in the light
of the rising day.
November 29, 1913
WHY all this noise, all this movement, this vain and futile agitation;
why this whirlwind carrying men away like a swarm of flies caught in
a storm? How sad is the sight of all that wasted energy, all those useless
effort! When will they stop dancing like puppets on a string, pulled
they know not by whom or what? When will they find time to sit quietly
and go within, to recollect themselves and open that inner door which
screens from them Thy priceless treasures, Thy infinite boons?...
How sorrowful and miserable seems to me their life of ignorance and
obscurity, their life of mad agitation and unprofitable dispersion!
- when one single spark of Thy sublime light, one single drop of Thy
divine love, can transform this suffering into an ocean of delight!
O Lord, my prayer soars towards Thee: May they know at last Thy peace
and that calm and irresistible strength which comes of an immutable
serenity - the privilege of those whose eyes have been opened and who
are able to contemplate Thee in the flaming core of their being.
But the hour of Thy manifestations come.
And soon hymns of gladness will burst forth on every side.
Before the solemnity of this hour I bow down in devotion.
December 13, 1913
GIVE me Thy light, O Lord, grant that I do not fall into any error.
Grant that the infinite reverence, the utter devotion, that intense
and profound love I bring to Thee may be radiant, convincing, contagious,
and be awakened in every heart.
O Lord, Eternal Master, Thou art my Light and my Peace; guide my steps,
open my eyes, illumine my heart, and lead me on the paths
that go straight to Thee.
O Lord, Lord, grant that I may have no other will than Thine and that
all my acts may be an expression of Thy divine law.
A great Light floods my whole being, and I am no longer conscious of
anything but Thee....
Peace, peace, peace upon all earth.
December 16, 1913
PURE and disinterested love, Thy love in what we are able to perceive
and manifest of it, is the sole key that can open all hearts that seek
for Thee. Those who follow the path of the intellect may have a very
high and true conception; they may have all the information about the
true life, the life One with Thee, but they do not know it; they have
no inner experience of that life and are ignorant of all contact with
Thee. These men whose knowledge is intellectual and whose action is
confined to a construction which they believe to be the best, are the
most difficult of all to convert; it is harder to awaken the consciousness
of the Divine in them than in any other person of goodwill. Love alone
can work this miracle, for love opens all doors, penetrates every wall,
clears every obstacle. And a little true love does more than the most
beautiful speeches.
Lord, let this pure flower of love blossom in me, that it may give its
fragrance to all those who come near us, and that this fragrance may
sanctify them.
In this love lie peace and joy, the fount of all strength and all realisation.
It is the infallible healer, the supreme consoler; it is the victor,
the sovereign teacher.
O Lord, my sweet Master, Thou whom I adore in silence and to whom I
have entirely consecrated myself, Thou who governest my life, kindle
in my heart the flame of Thy pure love that it may burn like a glowing
brazier, consuming all imperfections and transforming into a comforting
warmth and radiating light the dead wood of egoism and the black coals
of ignorance.
O Lord, I turn towards Thee with a devotion at once joyful and solemn
and I implore Thee:
Let Thy love manifest,
Thy reign come.
May Thy peace govern the world.
December 29, 1913
O LORD, grant that this collective convention of the ending year be
for us also the occasion to put an end to a whole lot of bonds and attachments,
illusions and weaknesses which have no longer any purpose in our lives.
At every moment we must shake off the past like fading dust, that it
may not soil the virgin path which, at every moment also, is opening
before us.
May our mistakes, acknowledged and rectified within us, be no more than
vain mirages powerless to bring any consequences and, pressing our foot
down firmly upon all that no longer should exist, on all ignorance,
all obscurity, all egoism, may we take our flight boldly towards wider
horizons and intenser light, a more perfect compassion, a more disinterested
love... towards Thee.
I hail Thee, O Lord, Master of our life, and I want to proclaim Thy
reign over all the earth.
The Mother
in CWM, volume 1, "Prayers and Meditations"
pages 14-42
or
in SABCL, volume 25 "The Mother: With Letters
on the Mother and Prayers and Meditations" pages 420-432 for the
texts translated by Sri Aurobindo
published by Sri
Aurobindo Ashram - Pondicherry
diffusion by SABDA
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